It’s February 13th- the day before Valentine’s Day and (here in America) Superbowl Sunday. I would venture to guess that many Americans, at least those not in a relationship, anticipate the Superbowl over Valentine’s Day.
Many unattached people complain that Valentine’s Day underscores their being single. Since women seem to feel this more than men (although some recent polls would suggest otherwise,) there now exists “Galentine’s Day” — a day to celebrate female friendships. Still, I think if you were to ask most single women if they would prefer to have a partner, they would say yes.
In an article from Men’s Health, Naomi Piercey argues that Valentine’s Day is all about making women happy. She says women crave attention and want to be at the center, at least for one day. Also women tend to watch more RomCom movies than men and after years of watching these films, have unrealistic expectations about how gentlemen should treat their ladies.
As a married woman of many years, I have learned not to have overblown expectations about what I think my husband should or should not do for me on February 14th. Some of this stems from years of being budget conscious. I’m a lover of chocolate, but I would always prefer flowers. However, flowers- especially roses- are expensive, so I have learned to be satisfied with a thoughtful card, chocolate and dinner out on a night other than February 14th (because we have figured out that the restaurants are packed that night.)
If I had to choose between receiving gifts often (including flowers) or having a steady, solid relationship with lots of affection, of course I would choose the latter. And that is what I enjoy. I like to call it “everyday romance.”
Romance by definition is a strong feeling of love, but usually associated with lots of passion and even mystery. The idea of everyday romance might seem a bit of an oxymoron. A better way to express what we all want is everyday love or kindness. I’m glad that the Random Acts of Kindness Day started in 1995 and that it has now expanded to an entire week.
My school, like many around the nation and even worldwide, are promoting Kindness Week by encouraging their students to send constructive text messages, compliment others and wear spirit colors and clothing items that promote positivity, among other things. I think businesses and communities should follow the schools’ lead. We have all become pandemic-weary and many people need a reminder of the basics of civility.
Back to Valentine’s Day. When you do a search on St. Valentine, there are conflicting ideas on who he actually was because there are more than one St. Valentine. Many accounts describe him as a Christian martyr who healed his jailor’s daughter. Another account says St. Valentine performed secret marriages before the husbands went off to war. If we go by either of these accounts, I think it’s safe to say that St. Valentine practiced acts of kindness that were not random at all.
I wish everyone a wonderful Valentine’s Day and Kindness Week that extends into everyday life. My hope is that all of us- single or in a relationship- will find love and kindness all around us.
Let’s not forget to look in the mirror and tell that person you love them too.
