I recently read Dave Barry’s 2020 Year in Review and had some good laughs. My husband and I have enjoyed his reviews of previous years. Barry pokes fun at politics and celebrity life, among other things. The reviews are nonsensical and yet have some kernels of truth.
2021 was such a major year of change for me and my family, that it merits a review. I would like to make it as funny as Dave Barry’s but I would have to use a certain degree of potty humor, and that is not really my style. So here goes:
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JANUARY
Coming out of my furlough felt like a bear coming out of hibernation. My days of filling out weekly PUA (Pandemic Unemployment Assistance) claims were coming to an end. I was asked to sub for a former coworker 5 hours a day. I was so happy to return, I might have even done it for free. It was so nice to have conversations with other adults besides my husband, even if I had to do it behind a face mask.
FEBRUARY
My principal offered me a full time position of being the greeter/dismisser/recess person. I said yes, and slowly more students started coming back to campus in stages. This was the month we sat down with our realtor and decided to sell our Vancouver home. We put some dates on the calendar and the decluttering began!
MARCH
We had a date to aim for: March 22nd for home photos. This meant getting rid of half of the numerous books on our built-in book shelves. Some were easy choices; we didn’t need Dr. Spock’s Baby and Child Care anymore. Other books, including my children’s scrapbooks I had worked on for years, were to be packed away for several months. Also got my first “Fauci Ouchie” shot on March 13th.
APRIL
My mom came for a visit during my spring break. Towards the end of the week, we had to be out of our house at various times for our Open House. My birthday fell on a Sunday and we decided to make it a weekend celebration at the Oregon coast. By weekend’s end, we had 12 offers on our home– all significantly above our asking price. We also found a home in San Antonio on the market and made an offer. Only divine intervention made it so that selling and buying were 2 days apart and went smoothly.
MAY
Now that we had an accepted offer and our San Antonio offer was accepted, it was time to start saying some goodbyes. I spent as much time as possible with my childhood BFF who had recently moved to Portland. I had an amazing weekend in Seattle with another childhood friend under beautiful blue skies. I started to notice an unusual pattern: almost every day in Vancouver/Portland was cloudless and sunny and when I looked at San Antonio’s weather, there were thunderstorms almost every day. Hmmm- were we not moving to get away from gray skies?
JUNE
Moving month! Last day of work at HCA was June 9th followed by 8th grade graduation and a luncheon for me and other employees leaving the school. No one else was going quite as far as Texas though. After two garage sales and donating 80% of our food storage, there were still 3 trips to Goodwill with several large sacks each. On the last run, the Pathfinder choked in an intersection. This was the car that was supposed to drive 1900 miles through 6 states in a mere 5 days. Off to our favorite mechanic one last time. It was fixed in one day and we were back on track.
JULY
The first thing we noticed was how heavy the air was. It was made heavier by the almost constant drone of cicadas. Then there were the bugs that attacked our arms and legs. We figured out pretty quickly that we needed a can of “Off” spray at each entrance. We had to camp out on foam pads and sleeping bags and use a minimum of dishes until our moving truck arrived 10 days later. When it did arrive, many plastic containers were cracked and cardboard boxes dented. Only a few things broke, but I learned not to pack anything liquid unless it was individually sealed as I rinsed off kitchen items doused with honey and oats. My husband said I could have used it as a facial cleanser.
AUGUST
I had a nice respite from pesky door salesmen (they insisted we needed a home security system or their internet service) as I visited my daughters and son-in-law in New York. But I was also hoping for a job offer that never came. My determination to work at a charter school was strong as I applied to several jobs and even landed two interviews. I enjoyed a couple of community pool trips and local sightseeing before my interview at a local elementary school. Two days later as I drove south with my husband on a Labor Day weekend getaway, I received the call that I got the job.
SEPTEMBER
Our trip to South Padre Island was all the sweeter knowing I had a job waiting for me. We ate too much seafood and I even sang along to a Blake Shelton song at one of the restaurants; my husband was in shock recalling that his wife once said “I HATE country music.” After training and fingerprinting, I finally started working on September 16th. I feel like a pampered princess saying this, but working 40 hours a week was a shock to the system. I was so used to being a part-time worker and having time to run errands around my cushy 12 hour a week job.
OCTOBER
One of the things I love about my job besides the kids and my coworkers are the dress-up days. My principal is pretty cool about letting us wear jeans at least once a week. We wore a lot of pink in October for Breast Cancer awareness. And we wear school spirit T-shirts every Friday. Halloween was my favorite; it was “dress like a book character” day so I wore my queen costume. I subbed in a 3rd grade class that day and one of the students (who happened to be Special Ed) came up to me, rubbed my velour covered arm and said “I think I’m in love.”
NOVEMBER
I would have to say that November is the perfect weather month in Texas (so far.) The humidity lingered just a bit, but the overall temperature cooled off and we were able to enjoy some hikes and Saturday pickle ball. We found a group that plays regularly and has two rows of nets: competitive and recreational. If you know my husband, you can guess which side he plays. For whatever reason, his teeth are falling apart here in Texas, so he had to replace two crowns. Since we share a car, I rode my bike to work those days so he could use the car. Weird as this sounds, I love the feeling of flying down the hill in the dark a.m. like a superhero in my reflective gear.
DECEMBER
The Washington half of this year seems like a distant memory even though it was less than 6 months ago. Although our backyard is a mess as we wait for our retaining wall and pool to be installed, the inside feels like home, especially with all of my familiar Christmas decorations up. I feel more and more like a Texan, but there is one last holdout. I can’t bring myself to say “Y’all.” It’s endearing when I hear other people use the term, but it still sounds like bad grammar to me.
